SECTION 331

Like a Million Baseball Fans Cried Out, and Were Suddenly Silenced

2013 Promotional Schedule Released

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You can find it here!

I was going to try to get to this before it was formally released, and I talked a little about it on Twitter earlier, but I got busy and thus was forced to wait until I could clock out for lunch to discuss it here.

The one glaring omission,  I have to say, is the lack of a Fleece Blanket Night. I don’t know why there isn’t one this year, but it was my absolute favorite giveaway, and I am sad to see that it only lasted a few years. I would have loved to see it at the beginning of the season, though, when it is still cold in our Seattle spring, and such a thing might come in handy around, say, the 5th inning when gloves, five jackets and hot cocoa just aren’t working anymore. September was just too warm for something like that. I will continue to enjoy the ones I was able to get while it lasted, and hope that it is a temporary setback, and that Fleece Blanket Night comes back to us like the glorious unicorn it is in 2014.

Tom Wilhelmsen Train Engine Night! Yes, I already have it written down on my calendar, in the event that one of my tickets doesn’t cover it already. I am planning on eventually doing something with the cars I have collected so far, finding out the cars I lack, and obtaining them to fill the gaps in my collection. This will make a nice addition to the set, and maybe some day I can put them on display somewhere in the house. It will probably require glue.

Felix’s Perfect Game Bobblehead Night. I find it funny for some reason that this is being done during a game against the Rangers, who will undoubtedly drill us into the ground, but never mind that; it may be another addition to my very sparse, very specical bobble group. My bobblehead “collection” is a very elite thing, and not many bobbles have gotten in to that particular club. I am not normally a fan of the things, so it takes very special and particular bobbles to make it. I think this one might.

And we have fireworks nights! Two or three, at least. Those are on the calendar too. I am under the assumption that they will be set off over the north wall – right where I normally sit. I like sparkly things and things that explode, so this is a no-brainer. I am not going to miss this, it should make for some stellar photos, and will be cause for celebration if we win, or a pick me up if we lose. Explosions!

Dustin Ackley Gnome Night. The jury’s still out on this one. I do have a garden, and I work in it frequently during the spring and summer months, but I am not a fan of the garden gnome as a general thing. I will have to see it before I can make up my mind. The final design has not yet been settled on according to Ms marketing king Kevin Martinez, but hopefully there will be pictures in links up in the schedule soon enough.

The other unusual thing they are doing this year is something called a “beard hat”. Since I haven’t seen any pictures of this either, I have to assume that there is some sort of balaclava thing going on. I am mystified, though, because we just lost our “beard” to Oakland. This seems something that would be better suited for the Giants and Brian Wilson. But I’m just the fan and not one that is terribly involved in popular culture today, so perhaps this is just some thing that the kids find super entertaining that I am unaware of?

Most of the other promotions are things that I am either too old for (boo!), or they simply don’t apply to me (since I am neither a mother or a father). The one thing I would love to be young enough for is the Bat Night. I asked myself briefly this morning why that was limited to kids 14 and under, and then I flashed back to your average Saturday night down in The Pen and realized that arming soon-to-be drunk mostly college-aged adults with free truncheons might not be the best idea. Well played, Mariners. Well played. If I promise not to use it on anyone, might an exception be made? I’ll sign a waiver!

Anyway, there you go. I am getting very excited for FanFest this weekend, and am even more impatient for the 2013 season to start than I was yesterday.

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