Getting stung in Arlington

Once upon a time, there was a team named Seattle. Seattle was a nice team. Maybe not the strongest or the best, but they helped people unload groceries from their cars, and made sure kids got to the bus safely, that sort of thing. Seattle was constantly looking to improve itself, and while the changes weren’t always huge and didn’t always immediately make a difference, Seattle knew that people counted on it, and so it always looked for ways to help out where it was needed, and little by little tried to turn itself into the team that people would root for no matter what. Seattle had a lot of friends, and tried to always be nice to strangers.

One day, Seattle was walking along early in the morning, and came across a river. It was a river with a strong current, and Seattle had to sit for a while and think about how best to cross it. But down farther along the bank, was another team named Texas. Texas looked a little hesitant to cross the river, even though Seattle knew that Texas was really strong and could probably swim across with no problem.  Seattle was a little wary of Texas, too, because it had heard that Texas wasn’t always the nicest team. Seattle had even heard rumors that Texas had picked a fight with Giants the year before. But Seattle’s selfless need to help anyone, anywhere, took over, so it had to ask.  “What’s wrong?” Seattle asked. “Why don’t you cross?”

“The current is so strong,” said Texas. “I don’t think I can make it. Not by myself, anyway. And if I don’t get over it in three days, I’ll be late for my appointment in Baltimore. This sucks, what am I going to do?”

“Well,” said Seattle, always wanting to help, “I have an appointment, too. I’m going back home to meet Cleveland and see all my friends…”

Texas looked really sad, and Seattle, not wanting to disappoint, blurted out, “We could cross it together! If it gets too deep, you can just ride on my shoulders. That way, you’ll look nice for your appointment. I can always wash my uniform, and Cleveland is usually pretty casual about stuff like that. It’s no big deal.”

“That would be great!” exclaimed Texas. “How terribly nice of you!”

So Seattle let Texas climb onto its shoulders, and waded into the river. The current was indeed strong, and, sunk into the water up to its neck, Seattle was having a really hard time keeping Texas nice and dry and getting it across the river. It took the two teams three days, but they finally wound up on the opposite river bank; Texas nice and dry, and Seattle soaking wet and exhausted, but still happy that it had been able to assist. As Seattle sat on the ground and tried to catch its breath, Texas took out a bat and beat Seattle mercilessly, until Seattle lay, gasping and bloody in the mud of the river bank.

“What did you do that for?!” Seattle cried. “I helped you cross the river, why have you hurt me so badly?”

Texas threw the bat down and, as it walked away, said “I can’t help it. It’s my nature.”

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